Draft Thesis Statements

In this blog post, I am going to work through some ideas and drafts of a thesis for my rhetorical analysis.

"Thesis." 10/08/15 via relookatmoi.com

Thesis 1: In the article Scandal Upends Toshiba's Lauded Reputation the author, Jonathan Soble, drives home the point that Toshiba's reputation was ruined in their recent scandal. He does this by stressing the value of honor, and discussing in depth how exactly Toshiba was dishonest. Soble includes an interview of the CEO of Toshiba from after the scandal, which adds greatly to his credibility. Combining this with an emphasis on ethics, related to cultural values of multiple cultures, Soble's argument is relatable and detailed.

Thesis 2: Jonathan Soble uses a variety of resources and approaches to emphasize cultural values and ethics in his article, Scandal Upends Toshiba's Lauded Reputation. Through in depth discussion and explanation of the Toshiba scandal, content such as video interviews that provide further understanding, and a credible tone, Soble drives home the argument that Toshiba's valued and storied reputation was tarnished through their business scandal.

Thesis 3: The article Scandal Upends Toshiba's Lauded Reputation emphasizes how the recent inflation of profits by Toshiba ruined their valued and honorable reputation. The author, Jonathan Soble, does this through detailed recounting and explanation of the scandal, including a video interview, and an emphasis on appeal to ethics.


I feel that the last thesis is by far the weakest of the three. There are aspects of all that I like, though I feel that they are all a bit wordy. I need to figure out how to communicate the basic ideas included in each in a more concise way. I feel that I can add to my thesis if I don't have enough content, but for now I think the ideas discussed in the above thesis-is include enough content for me to start working on my project. Making sure I stress each point of my thesis thoroughly, without being redundant, is key to the success of my project.


After reading Carrie and Allison's posts, I found that they shared similar struggles to me. Managing to communicate everything that needs to be communicated in our thesis-is, without being too wordy or confusing is going to be a major challenge. Word choice and organization is key. Also, finding what is strong in one thesis, and strong in another thesis, and combining them will be the most effective way of crafting the strongest thesis possible.