Revised Conclusion

In this blog post I include my original project 2 conclusion, and my revised and new project 2 conclusion, and why I think the new version is better.

"Conclusion." 10/17/15 via The Business Plan Shop

My original conclusion was weak. It merely mentioned the article and author, and then restated my thesis, word for word. My new conclusion includes similar elements, but extends the discussion of Toshiba to business in general, and addresses the "so what" of honor in business in general. Although I am still not completely satisfied with my conclusion, I think I am on the right track.

Original conclusion:
To conclude, Soble's article is very complex, and does a good job of summarizing the Toshiba controversy. However, Soble goes deeper than just the surface of the controversy. Through in depth discussion regarding the Toshiba scandal, content such as video interviews that provide further understanding, various outside sources, and a credible tone, Soble drives home the argument that Toshiba's valued and storied reputation was tarnished through their business scandal.

New conclusion:
Soble's article does a good job of discussing the Toshiba scandal, and really gets under the surface of the basic controversy. Using video interviews, a credible tone, and emphasis on cultural values the article communicates a clear message, honor and reputation is important in business. This issue extends much further than just Toshiba. The importance of honesty and trust in big business is understated. People of all classes and places invest their money and lives into business, and for these companies to scam them can have widespread and devastating effects on honest and hardworking people.